What is my aspiration?

Note: This post just happened as I was trying to fill up this form and it asked "What is your aspiration?".

After staring at the question for quite some time and looking blankly at my computer screen, I opened up the notepad application on my computer and just started typing whatever came to my head at the first instant. It was a technique that I used last time where you wrote:"I don't know what I want to write" repeatedly until you come up with something to write.

After rambling on in the notepad for close to 20 minutes, I finally ran out of steam and stopped. I scrolled back up, read the thing once and thought that it would be a waste to press the x on the top right hand corner of the window. So I thought,"Might as well post it up on the blog, which has been dead since..."

Obviously, this post doesn't reach up to the level of polish of all my previous posts (when was the last time I blogged anyway?!?) I only removed some spelling errors. The grammatical errors are still around cause they are the product of the steam of the post so I thought I'll leave them there.

~Ramblings started here~

What is your aspiration?
What do I aspire to be?
What do I want to achieve in life?

.... Sigh~~~ I don't know what I want to achieve in life. Especially after graduating from the formal education system, I really have no idea what I want to do with my life anymore. Maybe it's because I've always been under guidance and rule throughout my whole entire life. My goal was to pass my exams, get into the subject combination that is good for me, get into the good school, continue my studies, get to know a lot of people and have fun with them. Make good friends with them, relate to them my daily experiences, laugh with them. I am like a guy with no aspiration, all I want to do is to relax, kick back, and enjoy life...

Life was much easier when all you needed to do was go to school, study, take tests and exams, do well in them. Make lots of new friends everyday and then just hang out, chill out and relax until the next day starts. Not forgetting the need to do homework and to take notes while you are in class and making sure that you don't break any of the school rules so you have a clean record.

Everything works out properly, as long as your results are good, life goes on, more tests and exams comes your way, and then the big exams comes and then you finish it. You just continue on with your life in a new school and things continue on. You don't need to worry about, what is the future prospect of your career, what exactly you want to do in life, what is the Singapore dream that you want to achieve and be a part of...

To me, my aspiration is to be able to take care of my parents when they are old, take care of my future wife, my kids and my family. Continue to stay in touch with all of my good friends from school and have a job that I like and will be happy to go to the workplace every day. Of course, I will always want to find work to do because at least there's something that pushing my life along and I don't feel that I am wasting every single day of my life like I did during my pre-ns day (december to january 8th 2009) where I basically just woke up, eat, sleep, and continued this routine on a day to day basis until I felt that I was wasting my life.

So, whenever some application form or questionnaire comes along that asks me what are my aspirations, I will become stuck at that question and I'll usually leave it as the last thing that I will entertain in that form. The rest of the form tends to be much easier, things like, "what are your results?" "What did you achieve in school?" and even “What is your contact information?"...

Setting goals is hard for me because I have no idea what I want in life in terms of being outstanding and better then others. For me, I agree with the feeling of "小人物的心声". I don't really care much about being great, outstanding or some scholarship holder. I just want to be contented and happy with life. It sure seems hard and sucky to consider that when everyone else feels that you should do better in life and become an outstanding person.

~ramblings end here~

Discmon

PS: In the end, what I had written down as my aspiration, which I took quite a long time to formulate was this:
My aspiration is to be able to make a difference in people's lives through what I do. The happiness a student shows after understanding something that they had never understood before, the happiness a customer shows when you produce results reaching or even going beyond the customer's expectations.

heh...