What equates happiness??

Sometimes I wonder to myself why am I always so happy?
Sure, you guys always see me bouncing around and laughing about, making humorous remarks to lighten up the mood if things get even a teeny weeny bit serious. Add an occasional joke here and there, and I think you'll be able to get a perfectly correct mental picture of our dearest author here!!

But looking back at it all, I don't know if in reality I am really that happy...
I mean, I have enough trouble in home. For some stupid "good" results, I need to go and change my college all over again, and at the rate things are being done, it seems as though I had done a great grave mistake and I still need to even prepare a whole speech persuading the point on "why I should stay in the college I am in now??"

Sure, seems like nothing right? Well, it would be nothing, if one of your parents don't spend half his time reminding you that he wants to hear how you are going to persuade him...

If this was the only trouble, I won't be writing.

When I am at home, and even outside, I live in a sort of constant fear that something might have happened at home... For example, mother collapsing thanks to argument from my dad, and even when I am at home, I never know when my dad might just come in, look at what I am doing and coincidentally provoke an argument to seal off my fate for the rest of the day...

Life at home is indeed a challenge beyond proportion...

I look back at it all, and I wonder why am I so happy around other people? Why can I always look at the bright side of life, smile a bit, and move on even when the situation is seriously horrible? Why? When my life is already in constant dread and fear that when I come home one day, some thing might have happened, and there is no way for me to reverse the damage that has been done...

I find myself enjoying the time when I am outside of the house. When I am with my friends or even alone, just admiring the beautiful world outside. It provides a sort of serenity that I find myself able to relax in...

That's why I treasure all my friends so much. Everyone of you out there who I know and treat as a friend, are really really precious to me. Without you guys, I sometimes wonder to myself how could I sustain myself through all these days? From O levels, to the release of results, from sadness to happiness. Entertaining you people, regardless of whether it is a lame joke, a humorous remark or perhaps some other things, and looking at the smile and laughter coming out, and even just plain interaction, talking about everyday stuff and laughing at perhaps some other everyday things, creates a great feeling inside me...

Friends, is something that is priceless, can never be replaced, and will always have a special place in my heart...

I want to thank all of you out there, particularly Disco, 3/4D, the morning canteen group from last time, the 963 crew, 1D(2006) and also my new friends in NJC...
It is you guys, that had knowingly, or unknowingly, brought me through all the days where I am down and out...

I thank you all...

Discmon